A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1, NIV)
However gentle you are in spirit, however laid back in personality, if you play enough competitive golf, you’ll eventually find yourself in a heated conversation. Sometimes it’s only a quibble, sometimes it’s a quarrel.
Such encounters arise between friends and strangers alike. Questions about rulings, confrontations over scores, accusations of cheating—these are sure fire-starters on the golf course. Most infamously, my buddy and I once witnessed two guys take aim and lace punch shots at some boys throwing rocks a quarter mile off the golf course property because the noise kept the golfers from concentrating over their putts. Wild!
Arguments arise in Scripture, too. Jacob tricked Esau out of all that was valuable to him, and the older brother breathed out murderous intent so threatening that Jacob fled for years. Saul hunted David, pulling Jonathan into the fray. The disciples bickered over who would sit closest to Jesus in heaven. Committed brothers Paul and Barnabas parted ways over the qualifications of young John Mark.
We will bite our tongue, hold our breath, say our prayers, and keep the peace—all in the name of Jesus.And yet Scripture is clear in its directives about how we should relate to one another:
As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18)
Do everything without grumbling or arguing. (Philippians 2:14)
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. (James 4:1-2)
Arguing our way to victory was never meant to be the way of a Christian man or woman. But how hard this is! How difficult to offer a gentle answer in the face of another’s wrath!
Still, here is how my long-time Links Players ministry partner Jeff Cranford puts it: “The kingdom of God advances not by the delivery of blows but by the absorption of blows.” Christ took every hit for us on the cross, shedding his blood for countless sins that were not his own. We, brothers and sisters, may be called to the same. In taking up our cross daily, we will sometimes “shed blood” for the sins of others. We will bite our tongue, hold our breath, say our prayers, and keep the peace—all in the name of Jesus.
You don’t have cast your pearls before swine or bear up under physical or emotional abuse. Those are different matters. But in the context of most of our daily lives, we need to ask, “Am I defending myself for my sake, or shall I just let it pass for the sake of Christ?” Overlooking an offense, staying out of an argument, providing a gentle answer—these may pave the path to restoration and even eternal friendship.
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Jeff Hopper
July 21, 2020
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The Links Daily Devotional appears Monday-Friday at www.linksplayers.com.
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