If you’ve circled the golf course with a Links Player or sat in a Links Fellowship on a weekday morning, you’ve probably encountered one of our big ideas in action: changing the conversation.
The golf environment is a rich one—and no, we’re not saying the game has to be expensive. What we mean is that there are so many different things to talk about when it comes to the game. Some of these get technical: the mechanics of the swing, the nuances in the rules, the agronomy under your feet. Other topics are more peripheral: the wildlife on the course, favorite golf architects, your dream foursome.
When it comes to golf, you can just keep talking! You can also keep getting distracted, even using the game as an escape from the responsibilities that urgently call your name or the family circumstances that you’re tempted to keep secret.
So if you’re a Links Players looking to change the conversation, you can’t be afraid. You’re looking to spark talk outside the boundaries of the game, and this means you’ll have to open up with honesty yourself. Sooner or later, things will get serious.
With the holidays, everything seems to come sooner. Whose idea was it to pack Halloween, Veterans’ Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s into such a tight frame on the calendar? You may not make a big deal out of all of these, but it’s hard to escape the mighty lead-up that begins with Thanksgiving. The big voices out there try to stir our emotions for Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and Giving Tuesday before we’ve even had a chance to wake from our tryptophan slumber!
“If people are going to be reached with the message of Christ, it’s probably going to begin outside the church walls through simple relationships and friendly conversations with people just like you.”The holidays are ripe, though, for changing the conversation, for moving from small talk to the so-called real meat. Long-time Links Players region leader Randy Wolff has always emphasized the need for people to get together for fellowship, but more than that, to “talk about important things.” Many people don’t know this is what they need. For the sake of a laugh or in fear of being found out, they keep matters at the surface level. After all, polite people don’t talk about religion or politics.
Of course, that’s not altogether true. Many people will talk about religion and politics with people they trust. And that trust is commonly built through a succession of increasingly meaningful conversations. Since you have to start somewhere in moving off the most superficial topics, why not start with the holidays? They’re a common experience where reminiscing can meet up with reality.
My brother, John Hopper, ministers in Houston with an organization called Search. If you’re a golfer, you may be familiar with Search, as veteran PGA Tour chaplains Larry Moody and Dave Kruger have been leaders with Search for many years. Search’s principal method of ministry is opening up conversation and making a case for the gospel within the context of those conversations. In other words, when it comes to deepening discussions, these guys are experts! But they are also realistic about their work, especially because it’s being done in a disinterested culture.
“It used to be that even those with little interest in God would still find themselves in church on Easter and Christmas,” John wrote in a holiday newsletter. “But in our increasingly secularized and diverse world, even those church dates are missed by many.”
In this fact, though, he finds opportunity, especially for people like us, who spend time among unbelievers at places like the golf course: “If people are going to be reached with the message of Christ, it’s probably going to begin outside the church walls through simple relationships and friendly conversations with people just like you.”
The holidays, then, are ripe. But how do we change the conversation? What words do we use?
Well, first we may want to remember that our actions can speak loudly, too. Offering to help a neighbor put up her Christmas lights or driving a tired friend across a busy metropolis on a busy December weekend might just give you the space, time, and relational currency to move the conversation in a purposeful direction.
Now how about some questions to ask? John recommends these:
Are the holidays something you look forward to?
Of course, when you’re asking questions, you also need to be active in listening to the answers. This is not one of those conversations where you are going to walk away thinking, How insensitive! They didn’t ask anything about me. But if they do ask you questions, be willing to answer. Your talking can encourage theirs. Set an example of casual earnestness.
Now that you’ve got the conversation going, you may be asking what to do if it takes a turn for Jesus. Maybe you’ve had no success or limited experience in laying out the gospel. What you probably can do is explain how the gospel has changed you. What did God do for you in sending his Son Jesus to the cross that you could not do for yourself? If you can tell your personal story succinctly in that framework, you’ll do just fine. Jesus taught that the Holy Spirit will give you the words to say when you are face-to-face with someone looking for an answer. If the gospel is as simple as “I can’t – God can,” just flesh out that four-word idea. How did your sin make you incapable of saving yourself? How did Jesus step in to save you?
And never forget prayer. If you aren’t sure what to say to a person, ask if you can say some words to God in prayer on their behalf. Then pray. If you think they might be ready to give their heart to Christ, ask them if they want to pray with you about this. You might even model the words for them. Then pray with your friend. Or if you can sense they don’t want the conversation to go any further right now, let them know you were interested in what they had to say. Tell them you’d love to talk again. Then go home and pray, asking the Lord to keep working on your friend’s heart.
Copyright 2018 Links Players International