Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” and behold, the log is in your own eye? (Matthew 7:3-4, NASB 2020)
Don’t we all enjoy sharing new information? Perhaps it’s about the latest news, recipe, restaurant recommendation, or great vacation spot. Or, maybe it is the latest golf tip you just received from your instructor. Now, you have just enough information about what fixed your swing (at least for the moment) to share with your buddy who may be struggling with his slice, or his weight transfer, or… you name it.
In fact, as you watch your friend tee off, the first thing that comes to mind is how to fix him. Guess what? You are not alone. I asked this question to two golf instructors: When you are playing golf with a friend who has swing flaws and is struggling, do you have a problem holding back on giving him the fix? The answer was, unequivocally, “Yes!” and “It’s hard to wait for them to ask for help.”
Now, think about this same scenario when you are playing with someone who is clearly not a believer, and you hear words across the fairway that you know are not “in the fruit of the Spirit.”
You may start to judge the person’s behavior, forgetting that “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23, NASB)
If you are ready to criticize someone, offer your “priestly knowledge,” or “swing correction,” check to see if you deserve the same criticism or confirm that you have been asked to help. In other words, judge yourself first. Listen for the Holy Spirit’s prompting.
Perhaps pray silently for wisdom, or simply ask them, “Are you open for a little coaching?” Whether you get the opportunity to help or not, do not be discouraged; Jesus knows your heart and warns us with the following verse against offering your unsolicited advice, “Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces” (Matthew 7:6).
Your conversations may lead to sharing Jesus, or they may open the door for additional discussions the next time you are together. Use wisdom and discernment about the situation because teaching holy concepts to someone who is not receptive could lead to confrontation and tearing down rather than building up.
This does not mean we should stop giving God’s word to unbelievers. We should be wise and discerning in what we teach and to whom and when.