Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29, NIV)
I recently played in the senior club championship at my club. I find these events interesting, as I often get paired with members with whom I don’t normally play.
On the first day, “Frank” asked me what I do for work these days. My description of Links Players garnered no curiosity, so I focused on having a good time and being a light in how I carry myself.
We had several laughs throughout the round, but I observed a behavior that wasn’t benefitting Frank. Or his score.
Each time he hit a bad putt he’d implore his ball to “go off the green!” Any errant drives were encouraged to “get in the rough!”
He wasn’t playing poorly, but the negative talk to his golf ball wasn’t rewarded with good results.
After launching his drive on eighteen, he encouraged his ball to stay in the fairway, which it did.As we walked off the sixteenth green, I finally asked if I could offer a friendly tip, to which he agreed. I asked if he’d ever heard of the Positive Coaching Alliance, which he had not. I explained that their research shows that kids playing youth sports respond better to positive reinforcement than to criticism.
Frank looked at me quizzically, so I let him know that all he did was talk negatively to his ball, and it had yet to respond well. I challenged him to talk up his ball from a positive perspective just to see what happens.
He responded, “I get it. Tell my ball what I want it to do and not what I don’t want it to do. I like it. I’m going to finish birdie-birdie!”
Seventeen is a dogleg par-5. He striped his drive and then yelled, “be good” as his approach settled eight feet from the cup. Our head pro happened to pull up in a cart as Frank drained the eagle putt. He flashed three fingers to Pro with a cat-ate-the-canary grin before giving me a chest bump.
After launching his drive on eighteen, he encouraged his ball to stay in the fairway, which it did. Another solid approach led to a birdie putt, which he just missed.
He was walking taller when we hugged after the round, and it was my pleasure to remind him, “You didn’t finish birdie-birdie, but you did go 2-under for the last two!”
Combine that with my bogey on the last and we finished tied at 76. You’d think losing three strokes to a competitor on the final two holes would be a disappointment, but after seeing the change in his countenance, I would have signed for 100 with a smile.
As today’s verse reminds us, we are called to build others up according to their needs. I realize my tip won’t always lower Frank’s scores, but maybe, just maybe, the seed of positivity planted will yield fruit in other areas of his life.
—
Drew Hamilton
September 23, 2019
Copyright 2019 Links Players International
The Links Daily Devotional appears Monday-Friday at www.linksplayers.com.
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